Step 4

The past has passed

It is important to think about our past and to acknowledge both the things we got right and the times when we did wrong. There’s no need to judge, only to remember.

“The past is to be learned from, not lived in.”


As you lie awake in bed at night, you’ll be tortured by the all stupid things you’ve done. When you stand in the shower with nothing better to do than think, the hurtful things you have said in the past will come back to haunt you. On a long, boring journey, you’ll recall all of your shameful, sinful and naïve mistakes of the past, and you’ll wish that you could somehow change them and make it as if they never happened.

But you can’t.

They’re done, and there’s nothing you can do about it now.

Rest assured that everyone has made mistakes – steaming piles of stinky horrible mistakes so big and awful that they can never be fixed. Everyone is in the same boat as you, and the best thing we can do about it is to learn from the mistake and then… let it go.

That’s right.

Just let it go.

You made a balls-up. So what! Hopefully you didn’t do it on purpose. (See step three.) Just learn from the mistake, try not to repeat it, and then let it go.

The past is passed, so appreciate the here and now and let the past go.

You’ll feel much better for it.